Mother's Day

For better or worse, we all receive many things from our parents. Some are simply due to genetics; I have Mom's hair and skin color, and the ability to get a sunburn by just thinking about a bright day. And though she died far too young, we come from a family of long livers -- did you know that Mom's liver was over 18 inches long? That's a terrible joke, but one I've always liked -- proof that I got my sense of humor from my mother, too.

My twisted sense of humor is just one of many less tangible things my mother passed down to me. Mom taught me to love rock and roll, and I remember spending hours on long car trips with her sharing trivia about whatever was on the radio. She all but forced me to watch what became one of my favorite movies, "Close Encounters of the Third Kind". She helped me with homework, often acting as a living thesaurus while I was writing yet another English paper. She got up at 5:00 AM to make me rice and raisins for breakfast; something I didn't fully appreciate until I had children of my own and had to struggle to wake up and get them off to school.

Many lessons, however, weren't things she did directly, but rather simply the product of seeing her example. She worked hard, always, no matter the task. In her marriage, she set an example of how to love, and how to forgive. She provided an example of how to stand for your convictions, and how to re-examine those convictions. Mom was still growing and learning at an age when far too many other people start shaking their canes at the damn kids on the lawn and become set in their ways and opinions regardless of evidence.

But the greatest gift she gave me, she also gave to everyone she encountered  -- her unfailing generosity and compassion for others. I can honestly say I have never met a more selfless, giving person than Mom; and I'm not saying that just because she was my own mother, but because it's the truth. In every facet of her life, she did her utmost to take care of others — teaching Sunday school classes, volunteering during natural disasters. Over her career, she took dozens of visiting scientists and engineers at the Observatory under her wing, befriending then all, helping them in every way she could. Even at the end of her life, when she was losing her battle with cancer, she never failed to ask me if there was anything I needed, anything she could do.

I've been a student of Taekwon-Do for most of my life; it has long been something that has provided me with tools to overcome adversity, and the dearth of a parent is no exception. The founder of my art, General Choi Hong Hi, wrote a great deal about teaching. “Be the eternal teacher,” he wrote, “who teaches with the body when young, with words when old, and by moral precept even after death.” [TKD Encyclopedia (1993), Vol. 1, page 89]

Though my mother has passed, this idea continues to give me hope and comfort. Her presence will still be felt for as long as we follow her example. So continue to cherish the memories of my mother; tell the funny stories, the poignant stories, the sad stories. Smile and think of her when you see butterflies and daisies. But most of all, follow her example. Be kind. Be loving. Be forgiving. Be generous. Be like my mom.